Why The Royals Will Win I-70

The I-70 Series has arrived in 2011. The series that gave this site the name that you all have come to know and love (humor me) will find the first three game set this year being hosted by the boys in blue.

In honor of the upcoming series, I reached out to two of my favorite (though sometimes below the belt fighting) guys to give us their thoughts as to why their individual team will walk away with some bragging rights after this weekend. I then asked our guest’s counter part to provide some counter-point thoughts.

In this article, it is our friend Fake Ned Yost that will take the stage to tell you why the Royals will come out on top. The man behind CardsDiaspora.com, Aaron Hooks, provides the counter points.

Fake Ned Yost Says: I-70 is in pretty bad shape. If the Cardinals are coming by bus, they might lose the first game due to traffic and potholes. Forfeit.

Aaron Hooks Says: In St. Louis, we can afford planes. The dirt runways may cause a problem for fancy charter planes, but we’ll manage.

Fake Ned Yost Says: Here in Kansas City, we only put shingles on our roofs, not on our faces.

Aaron Hooks Says: Ironically, shingles on the faces might improve the looks of roughly 80% of Royals fans.

Fake Ned Yost Says: Too much red in the stands by Cardinals fans might confuse Cardinals outfielders and cause them to drop balls.

Aaron Hooks Says: Fans in the stands period would be confusing for KC.

Fake Ned Yost Says: In St. Louis, your mascot is an anorexic bird. In Kansas City, it’s a lion that shoots people in the face with hot dogs.

Aaron Hooks Says: Lion according to MLB. Meth trailer according to everyone else.

Fake Ned Yost Says: Andujar showed what a true Cardinal knows about composure in Game 7. We’ve got 800 rookies on this team like Hosmer, Duffy, Crow and Jeffress that are too stupid to know about “composure” and “stress” and “meaningful baseball.” In the game of baseball, stupid is key.

Aaron Hooks Says: I get that we don’t have much to work with on the KC side, so I’ll let this one slide.

Fake Ned Yost Says: On the off chance that St. Louie gets over on the Royals this weekend, we’ll be sure to make up for it when Pujols is wearing Royal Blue next year.
Advantage: Dreamers everywhere.

Aaron Hooks Says: Ha.

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